You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Randomize
