I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
