kristin has been a bad kristin
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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