He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I have fence marks all over my body
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
