Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
