i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
