You made me cry and you don't even care
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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