fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
