It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
