I want to have your abortion
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
