weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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