We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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