Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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