she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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