I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
