wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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