ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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