I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
