I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
