i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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