So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
