That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
