your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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