It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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