I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
