party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
