Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
