I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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