terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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