You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
