whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
