I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
