Who did Billy Mays play for?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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