new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
