Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
