Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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