i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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