Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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