Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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