worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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