I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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