you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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