all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
