He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
