My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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