I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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