Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
