You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
