It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize
