grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
