Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
