i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
