He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize