i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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