already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
