That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
