She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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