You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
