Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Randomize
