I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
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